On Empathy: The Psychology, Neuroscience, and Necessity of Emotional Boundaries

Empathy is our ability to feel into another’s emotional experience to sense their joy, suffering, hope, or pain as if it were our own. This innate human capacity, derived from the Greek em pathos ("feeling into"), profoundly shapes our relationships and daily lives. Psychology and neuroscience both inform the origins of empathy, and also confirm the importance of practicing it within the safety of healthy emotional boundaries. 

Psychological Perspsectives

In 1873, German philosopher and art theorist Robert Vischer coined the term Einfühlung to describe the spontaneous, relational act of projecting psychic feeling onto other people and things. He viewed this unconscious process as a way to better understand beauty and expression, through aesthetically participating in others’ thoughts, feelings, and observed actions.

Later in 1924, English structuralist Edward Titchener coined the term empathy as his iteration of Einfühlung, defining it instead as a “reactive-projective perspective with an emphasis on perceptive awareness of another person’s affect of sharing of feelings”. From his view, this phenomenon was primarily a sensory experience by way of using keen observation and physiological mirroring to imitate another person’s internal state. 

Carl Jung (1875–1961), who was a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, framed empathy as a type of introjection, or adoption of others’ attitudes through attunement to their psyche’s experience of reality. In his words, “the man with the empathic attitude finds himself…in a world that needs his subjective feeling to give it life and soul. He animates it with himself”. Jung viewed this ability to attune to others as the result of sharing a collective unconscious, a well of archetypal forces feeding our capacity for symbolic imagination. 

Most recently American psychologist Carl Rogers (1902–1987), who founded humanistic psychology and coined the phrase “unconditional positive regard” in the therapeutic relationship, suggested that empathy is the capacity to understand another’s experience in the world as if you were them. Importantly, he highlighted the critical distinction between dysfunctional emotional enmeshment with others, and the skill of maintaining emotionally boundaried relationships.

The Neuroscience of Empathy

Our experiences of empathy are shaped by brain mechanisms that include overall sensory processing, mirror neuron activity, and dopamine levels.

Sensory Processing 

Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) is a nervous system trait that determines an individual’s sensitivity to stimuli. Recent studies using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) have revealed that those with higher levels of SPS have greater activity in areas of the brain involved with high-order processing and attention including the right claustrum, left occipito-temporal, bilateral temporal, and medial and posterior parietal regions. Individuals who exhibit SPS traits are primed to respond more strongly to subtle physical, emotional, and social cues in their environment.

In the 1990s, American clinical psychologist Elaine Aron conducted further SPS research and developed the idea of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). She proposed that HSPs are a subset of the population who have demonstrably higher levels of sensitivity. According to Aron, roughly 15–20% of the general population are HSPs. Using her Highly Sensitive Person Scale, you can easily measure your sensitivity to things like pain, caffeine, noises, the arts, violence, and others’ moods.

Mirror Neurons and Emotional Contagion 

Emotional contagion is defined as “the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize expressions, vocalizations, postures, and movements with those of another person’s and, consequently, to converge emotionally”. Research has focused on instinctive mimicry of facial expressions, a skill developed in infancy. Using the Emotional Contagion Scale, you can measure your ability to absorb and reflect other’s feelings. It measures your likelihood to feel tense around challenging people, cry during movies, or feel positively after social interactions.

Our brain’s mirror neurons are involved in this transmission of emotional information. According to the American Psychological Association, mirror neurons are a type of brain cell that “respond equally when we perform an action and when we witness someone else perform the same action”. They were discovered by Italian researchers in the early 1990s, and explain how we can understand and relate to the feelings of others. FMRI scans have revealed how neural relay mechanisms in our anterior insular cortex enable us to instinctively imitate facial expressions, mannerisms, and body postures. This process helps us discern and interpret even the subtlest of micro-expressions.

Mirror-Touch Synesthesia 

Mirror-touch synesthesia (MTS) is a condition related to unusually high mirror neuron activity, where individuals consciously experience physical sensations when seeing someone else being touched. It is difficult to develop measures to identify mirror-touch synesthetes since data is based on self-report. However, a 2018 study using the Empathy Quotient Scale found that self-described synesthetes demonstrated higher rates of emotional responsivity and overall perception. Further research has directly linked MTS with higher adeptness with empathy, through an emotion simulation process that echoes Titchener’s structuralist view.

Dopamine Activity

Dopamine activity in the brain is informed by levels of the dopamine beta-hydroxylase (DBH) enzyme, which regulates the conversion of dopamine to norepinephrine. The DBH gene thus regulates levels of norepinephrine, the neurotransmitter that determines levels of arousal, stress responses, and emotional reactivity. This directly impacts one’s ability to empathically resonate and feel moved by others’ emotions. Persistently low DBH activity is considered a risk factor for mental health conditions including depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. 

Empathy and Mental Health

The term empath, first coined in 1956 by Scottish author JT McIntosh, has become widely used as a way to describe people with high empathy. Through his fiction writing, McIntosh colorfully portrayed paranormal beings who could sense human emotions almost as a form of telepathy.

Nowadays many consider empaths to be emotionally sensitive individuals who are deeply attuned to the emotions of others, and experience stronger internal reactions to emotional stimuli than the average person. As psychiatrist Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios described, at times “true empaths…go out of their comfort zone and start thinking, feeling, and acting for other people — even if they feel drained, emotionally overwhelmed, and exhausted — and can feel another person’s happiness or sadness as a part of their own self”. This reflects Rogers’ words of caution regarding the importance of personal emotional boundaries. 

The Need for Emotional Boundaries 

Our capacity to emotionally attune is directly tied to relationship fulfillment. Neurocognitive theories note the importance of empathy in generating positive social interactions, sustaining deep relationships, and establishing support networks. It positions us to cultivate social capital, which results in greater life meaning and fulfillment. 

However, empaths face certain challenges. For example, they can easily be affected by others’ pain and find it difficult to maintain emotional boundaries. This can quickly lead to feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion, or sadness if they feel unable to help. Another typical outcome of poor emotional boundaries is increased anxiety. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the bestselling book The Empath’s Survival Guide, empaths are prone to anxiety in social settings because their sensitivity makes it challenging to maintain necessary emotional distance.

This pattern can contribute to mental and physical stress. High sensory processing sensitivity has been connected to a greater likelihood of developing symptoms of depression. A 2006 study using Aron’s Highly Sensitive Person Scale found connections between high empathy and vulnerability to poorer mental health. Additionally, in a 2008 study participants were exposed to a range of heat levels and observers were asked to rate their own physical reactions. Those with the highest empathy scores felt the most bodily pain and discomfort while witnessing others’ suffering, suggesting that empathy alters pain perception. 

Sometimes difficulty with emotional boundaries stems from relational trauma, such as attachment wounds with caregivers. Attachment traumas like childhood abuse and parentification can result in people pleasing or fawning behavior, scanning for signs of emotional danger, and adapting to others’ emotional states. However, research on post-traumatic growth also shows that profound experiences of suffering can strengthen one’s resiliency and ability to authentically connect with others. 

Creating Healthy Boundaries

Self care practice is crucial for empaths to maintain personal emotional health, and can include use of solitude and time in nature. According to Aron, Highly Sensitive Persons frequently reported prioritizing solitude as a way to increase self-awareness, practice self-acceptance, and apply self-compassion. Rejuvenation through connecting with nature is also demonstrated to foster holistic rest and renewal.

Supportive interpersonal skills include learning to say “no” and honor your limits, externalizing others’ emotional reactions, and mindfully acknowledging where one’s self ends and another person begins. Practicing self-empathy is critical for navigating the initial discomfort of having to say “no” to others. For those with attachment trauma history, an attuned mental health therapist can be a compassionate resource for developing robust emotional boundaries.

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